Don't Forget

Last spring (2008) we did some major home remodeling, which included an overhaul of the kitchen and bathroom as well as ripping out the giant picture window in our living room and replacing it with an entertainment center. After the entertainment center was finished, it sat empty for quite a while as I tried to decide what I wanted in the shelves. I recently got it all finished and wanted to share, especially about one shelf in particular.

On the bottom left we have our Wii and PS2. Above that is a meager Chiefs shelf, and up from there is my tribute to Attacktix. The top left is just a collection of hats of my various sports teams. On the bottom right side we've got our DVR system and DVD/VCR. Above that is a pretty sweet Royals shelf, with the required (for me, anyway) Star Wars shelf on the top right.



The shelf that has the place of honor, center top, is the best shelf of all. The idea for this hit me quite a while back while in a Bible study at church. We were talking about how quickly we forget what God has done in our lives and how important it is for us to put up reminders to help prevent that from happening.

In Joshua 4, God commands the Israelites to set up 12 stones as a reminder of what He has done. He specifically mentions their children, that they'll see the stones and ask, "What do these stones mean?" This shelf serves both of those purposes: that we might not forget what God has done and that other folks might ask why in the world I have a bag of wheat on the shelf!



Everything on the shelf has some significance (except the clock, I suppose, that's mainly just there to tell time...), but I decided to just share three of them here - marked A, B and C in the image.

A) This is a piece of drywall from our ceiling that collapsed. That story is worthy of a blog post all by itself, and hopefully I'll have one soon. I'll simply say here that God's hand was evident as He protected all of us during the crazy ceiling-falling-fiasco.

B) This is the infamous bag of wheat. The story here involves Karin's health. Honestly, I'm a little embarrassed by this one, but what can you do... Anyway, for a long time (since we've been married, really) Karin has had various stomach problems. Doctors had tried to isolate different things, but it never seemed like we figured out what the real problem was. Well, last fall (yes, over ten years into our marriage) I began to pray and ask God what the deal was with Karin's health. Within three days it became completely clear to me that she had Celiac's Disease, which is a gluten allergy. Since she's cut gluten out of her diet she's had zero problems. Praise God!!!

C) This is a t-shirt from Mission Arlington. I have already chronicled how we ended up going there for spring break this past March, but it's always good to go back and read it again!

There are many other items on the shelf and I'm confident many more will be joining them. It really only takes one bad day for me to get in a funk and forget all the great things God has done in my life, revealing His love, power and wisdom. Having these items front and center helps me to regain perspective and reflect on some of the things He's done in the life of our family. You may not have a shelf set aside in your home, but I hope you have some way to remember what God has done and glorify Him as you share the story with others!

Futbol Players

* Apparently I have a blog. Probably shouldn't go a month without updating it.

This school year has turned out to be an interesting list of firsts for us. First time we've had a kid in middle school and the first time our youngest has been in kindergarten. That also means it's the first time since we've had kids that they've all been in school for the full day. (This is leading to some wonderful ministry possibilities for us!) Well, another first came this morning: all three of the kids were playing soccer. Allison had her very first game and, while a little reluctant at first, she really got into it and had a great time. Meghan is the oldest on her team (and scored their only goal) while Caleb is the youngest on his (which he loves, his attitude is "Bring it on!")

Anyway, here's a shot of the three of them in their uniforms:

Family Fun

This past weekend was a lot of fun for our family. On Friday we got around to building a fire pit in our backyard and celebrated by roasting marshmallows. (As I type this, Karin and the kids are on their way to WalMart to pick up stuff for S'mores this afternoon.) On Saturday we got to celebrate the wedding of a former BSU student and then caught a Royals game - the kids' first!

It was a blast touring the renovated stadium with them. We got to check out all the "kid attractions" and maybe next time around we'll spend some money over there. Since that evening was "Christmas in July" (complete with powder blue Royals stockings as a giveaway) we got to pick up our freebies and also snap a shot with a melting snowman. We enjoyed the well known fountains (which obviously I'd never seen that close up before) and had a fantastic experience with customer service.

When I picked up our tickets, we were unable to get five seats together. I was pretty frustrated, but settled for a set of three and two. The cashier told me we could talk to guest services and see if there was anything that they could do. Upon walking into our section, the usher checked our tickets and immediately offered to do whatever he could. Less than ten minutes later he gave us a free seat upgrade, where all five of us were able to sit together in the shade! And if all of that wasn't enough, we witnessed a Billy Butler home run, Luke Hochevar notching 13 strikeouts, and the Royals pulling out a rare 6-3 win. I couldn't have asked for a better day!

Here are some pics of us at the backyard fire pit and the Royals game:

More on Winning and Losing

Competitiveness and competition will probably always be a part of my life in some fashion, so I'm very thankful for the insights I recently received and shared in regards to this topic. Since then I've had a few more thoughts I want to throw out there.

It has occurred to me that I could guarantee I would never lose another competition in my life. While I'm not a particularly good basketball player (haha, what an understatement) there's one way I could be certain to win every time: I'll only play against people ages ten and under. (Imagine how many blocked shots I could have!) This may sound like a silly idea, but I think it has some pretty sound implications:

• Winning against weak competition is not satisfying.
  It's just a fact. I've been on both sides of this one, where a softball game is completely one-sided and is more like practice for the dominant team. Sure it's nice to win, but it comes with the asterisk that the team you just pounded wasn't very good. Keep that in mind.
  
  
• Beating the Best is Better.
  It's obvious, then, that winning against equal or superior talent is much more satisfying, since you actually have to earn it. But there's a trade-off there: as the value of winning increases, so do the chances of losing. Some choose to avoid that chance and simply accept winning against inferior opponents. Be sure to properly evaluate which side you're choosing.
  
  
• You May Be a Big Fish in a Little Pond.
  Someone will rise to the top and dominate whatever local competition they may find. The only problem is that the competition doesn't end there. You probably don't have to travel very far before you find others that are at your level or higher. Only a handful of people (those making millions of dollars) ever actually reach the peak of their game. In other words, don't forget that you'd probably lose somewhere else.
  
  
• What Happens When You Do Reach the Top?
  A few have made it to the peak of that mountain. Countless others envy them and their achievements, wishing to be equated with greatness and all the spoils that come along with it. But in the end, does it satisfy? Is it really all it's cracked up to be? A while back I came across an interview Tom Brady did with 60 minutes that was very interesting. I was originally just going to link that interview, but found a compilation put together that tied in some other relevant elements quite well.

Hopefully thoughts like these will continue to help me keep winning and losing in its proper perspective and not allow either one to distract me from what matters most.

The Art of Losing Well

* This post is not about the Royals in any way, shape or form. But it is something that they excel at.

I have met people in my life that handled losing well, but I don't think I've ever met anyone that enjoyed it. And if they did, I'm sure they weren't all that interested in winning in the first place. Winning matters most when competition is involved, and you don't have to go very far to find that somewhere in life. The unfortunate side effect of competition is that little phenomenon called losing. Even at age 33 I find it difficult to deal with and my kids find it almost impossible.

Recently a friend at church, Mike, gave me some advice in dealing with losing. A lot of times I find myself getting very frustrated, although I do a pretty good job of keeping it inside. (Maybe Karin would say differently, I'll have to ask...) But keeping it inside isn't really the best way to deal with it, it just keeps you from socially embarrassing situations - and for that reason alone I still recommend giving it a try! But whether its explosions and resulting rage or managing to keep it bottled up, these are just the symptoms of the problem. Getting to the root means learning to look at losing differently.* So here are the two tips I was recently given that have helped me out tremendously. I'm doing my best to try and instill them in my kids as well.

* I do think another major problem with winning and losing is that our identity is usually tied to our performance and to acceptance by others. I could go into another long post on this subject as well, but as a Christian it's imperative that we find our worth in Christ alone.

First off is to recognize what is and what is not within your control. I don't know that this really registered for me, but far too often I get upset about things that I have no impact on whatsoever. One of my hobbies is a collectible miniatures game that involves rolling dice. While you can do a few things to improve your chances of getting a good roll, it's entirely possible to roll an epic fail. It definitely can be frustrating, but what can you do? If you knew it was outside of your control before you rolled the dice, you'd know there was a distinct possibility things wouldn't go your way.

This is also true in team sports. If someone drops a fly ball or the shortstop boots a grounder, there's nothing you could have done about it. It may be natural to get upset (since your chances of winning are tied to their performance) but it's really pointless. And while the anger is welling up inside, it naturally translates into negativity towards that person. Chances are high that it will only go downhill from there, especially if you open your mouth.

This certainly runs counter to Ephesians 4:29 which says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Recognizing that I have no control over their performance will help me to focus on what I can control: my attitude and my speech. Now I'm in a position to encourage them, which is far more important in the long run than winning or losing anyway.

This leads right into the second point, which is that winning comes through something else I can control: dedication and hard work. The scene is all too familiar: one player hits a high, routine fly ball to the outfield and the defender settles under the ball to chants of "Miss it! Miss it!" The way to win isn't to hope your opponent fails or messes up, although winning often happens that way. (I've certainly played games where I said, "They didn't win that game, we lost it.") But the best course of action for us to pursue in competition is to try and improve our own game rather than hope our opponent doesn't bring their best.

I see this all the time with the kids, where they're actively rooting against each other. After lunch today there was an incredibly exciting game of wii bowling where two of the kids were tied with 82 pins in the seventh frame. In the eighth, they both got spares. Then in the ninth they both got strikes! It was a blast to watch as they matched each other throw for throw, the excitement in the room growing with each round.

In the tenth frame the first player bowled a strike, followed by netting seven pins with the two extra throws. The pressure was really on player two, who wasn't able to match the strike and ended up losing 157-177. At first all was good, as we simply basked in the fun of an exciting game. But it wasn't long before sore losing took hold and complaining ensued, especially against the performance of the winner. I imagine it will be a difficult road to get them to embrace these two principles (after all, here I am struggling with it as an adult), but I'm going to keep impressing it upon them and trying to demonstrate it in my own life as well.

On the side, a third competitive tip I've picked up is from another friend, Jake. We've played racquetball together a few times and it's always intense. After one particularly challenging match he let me in on a little secret: he never says anything during a game, good or bad. This eliminates both grumbling and bragging, including comments that weren't meant as such but might come off that way. I sometimes forget this principle but need to work on it as well.

So there you go. For those of you that will find yourself participating in competition sometime soon, I hope these tips might help you out. And for any parents out there, maybe they could help your kids as well.

Happy Birthday, America!

I built this two story playhouse a few years ago and it originally was painted camouflage, but recently Meghan suggested we paint it red white and blue. After playing around with a few different designs this is what we all decided on. It would have been finished on the 4th of July but I couldn't find any cardboard big enough to make my star stencil.

As an aside, one thing that I've been learning recently is in the area of being a better dad. The Lord has made it clear to me that as I'm doing my every day normal activities I can simply invite the kids to join me in what I'm working on. Here they helped with painting and last week they helped me finish hang drywall on the living room ceiling.

So often I'm in such a hurry to get things done that I'd rather shoo them off so I can finish the project instead of seeing it as an opportunity to spend time with them. I know it's not rocket science, I'm just a slow learner sometimes =) To any other parents with young kids out there, I encourage you to find ways to include them in your every day life too.

New Family Fun

We picked up a new game the other day that has turned out to be a lot of fun. It's called Slamwich and here are the rules. It's one of those types of games that requires pattern recognition and quick hands and lots of slapping the table!

Productive Day

At 8am this morning, Zach and I began moving furniture around and proceeded to tear up our old carpet and pad. Then we spent an hour or so pulling staples out of the floor along with random nails and things. When that was finally out of the way, our local flooring expert Kevin came over and helped us install laminate flooring! We wrapped up our day right at 6pm, knocking out the living room and dining room. Tomorrow we're going to try and finish the kids' rooms.

Here's our wonderful old carpet on its last day:


Here's a shot of the amazing tile that was hiding under the carpet in the dining room:


And here's a glimpse at the finished product:

Adventures In St Joe

Quite awhile ago we got connected with Dave Ramsey's financial advice and have been big fans ever since. In that time I've also seen Dave speak in person twice at the Catalyst Conference and thoroughly enjoyed him both times. In fact, the first year I went he was the best speaker there.

Dave has some very simple steps to get people headed toward financial freedom, and it's something I wish we would've learned before we got married. First off is to set up a $1,000 emergency fund. The reason for that is that if you decide to immediately try to get out of debt, what do you do when an emergency comes up? You likely get into more debt. So you do whatever necessary to get your $1,000 emergency fun in place as quickly as possible.

After that you start working on paying off your debt. Dave suggests the "debt snowball" method, which is a very good idea. Basically you pay the minimum on all your debts except for the smallest one. On the smallest one, you pay as much as you possibly can each month. Once that one's paid off, you take the amount you were paying on the smallest and apply it to the new smallest. As you pay off debts, the amount you're paying toward each one snowballs until you've got them all paid off. Sweet!

After you're debt free (except for a mortgage, that comes later), you start working on an extended emergency fund. The amount depends, but it should cover four to six months of living expenses. We've had this done for several months and have been dragging our feet in moving on to step four: investing for retirement.

The main thing about investing is that I don't know anything about it. It seems like you could go in a thousand different directions, which left us paralyzed. Where do you start? A few weeks ago a Dave-approved financial adviser was at our church to talk about investments and we set up an appointment with him for yesterday.

Things didn't start out so well. Our appointment was at 9am in St Joe, so we took Allison to school and then hit the road. The office is in downtown St Joe, which is an area we're unfamiliar with. That being the case, we arrived early since we were able to find the place with no problems. He wasn't in the office yet, but the secretary assured us he would be there at 9am. No problem, we'll just wait for ten minutes.

9:00 comes and no adviser. 9:05 rolls around and the secretary starts to act surprised, so she tries tracking him down on his cell phone. No luck. 9:10, she tries him at home. No answer. 9:15, I decide to start reading some of these Forbes magazines laying in front of me. I now understand what's wrong with Nascar's financial set up! Finally, at 9:30, we decide to leave. This is very disappointing, as we've set up somewhere for Allison to go after school just to make this trip, and now we'll have to do it all over again.

So we take off, and after we're about five minutes down the road, I get a call on my cell phone. Somehow he thought the meeting was at 10 and promised he would be at the office soon. We turned around and got there at about 9:45.

As we pulled back in to the building, we parked at the same two hour parking we'd been at before. The exact same spot. I wondered aloud if that was a good idea, but was already a little bit annoyed at having left and returned, so I was just eager to get inside.

Once we finally connected at 10am, things went quite well. I'm now the proud owner of a Roth IRA with a pretty diversified portfolio. It's not worth much, but it feels good to finally be started. He did a very good job answering our questions and I think he gave us some great advice.

Our initial plan was to hit Home Depot and Target while we were in St Joe, but we were now out of time and would simply have to head back to Maryville. As we're walking back to the van, what's that on the windshield? It can't be! Yes, it is. A $7 parking ticket. Apparently leaving for ten minutes in the middle of your 3 hour stint doesn't keep you from getting a ticket.

No, $7 isn't a big deal, it's more of the principle of the thing. We were never there for more than two hours and shouldn't have a ticket at all. Of course we'd have to go back to St Joe to protest the ticket, and it's cheaper to pay $7 than the gas (and time) we'd lose otherwise.

It's funny how annoying something like that can be. A simple mix up of our meeting time kept us from getting to Home Depot (to buy some laminate flooring) and also got us this irritating ticket. But what happened today? Since we missed Home Depot, we decided to try our local Sutherlands out. Not only did we get a better deal (who knew?) but the stuff we bought ended up being on sale as well! That right there saved us another $100.

So now I'm glad we got detained in St Joe yesterday, but I still wish it hadn't cost me $7 :P

20 Minutes Well Spent

I saw this video posted on Facebook and decided to give it a go and am glad I did. I was very intrigued by the point that is made. While I am not involved in the American education system, I am, in fact, an educator. But more than that, I am a Christian, and I thought the topic ended up being very relevant to ministry. Specifically the struggle of creativity against our genuine fear of failure. I'd love to hear what some of the rest of you think about it.

An Original Idea?

Sometimes my research consists of about twelve seconds on Google or Wikipedia, but I didn't find any references to this and I'd never heard of it before.

The other day Meghan suggested a new twist to a classic game. I don't know the last time I played checkers against anyone over the age of ten, although I'm sure there are people out there that still enjoy the game very much. But Meghan and I played a variation the other day that was a lot of fun and included a nice strategic element.

An explanation of the game may not even be necessary ... the name itself says it all: Capture the Flag Checkers. Each team has a flag (we used two small beads) that is captured by the first checker to cross the table and become a King. The game is won when the King (that one or another) returns the flag back to its original starting line. We didn't come across the issue of what happens to the flag if it's lost (ie the King is jumped and therefore is removed from the table) but I would suggest the flag stays in the same square and is recaptured when an opponent's piece enters or jumps over the square.

This completely changes the previous goal of checkers - eliminate all of your opponent's pieces - and therefore the way you play the game. I think it makes the game a lot more fun and I encourage you to give it a try!

Props to Meghan, who will turn ten on Monday!!