Family Fun

This past weekend was a lot of fun for our family. On Friday we got around to building a fire pit in our backyard and celebrated by roasting marshmallows. (As I type this, Karin and the kids are on their way to WalMart to pick up stuff for S'mores this afternoon.) On Saturday we got to celebrate the wedding of a former BSU student and then caught a Royals game - the kids' first!

It was a blast touring the renovated stadium with them. We got to check out all the "kid attractions" and maybe next time around we'll spend some money over there. Since that evening was "Christmas in July" (complete with powder blue Royals stockings as a giveaway) we got to pick up our freebies and also snap a shot with a melting snowman. We enjoyed the well known fountains (which obviously I'd never seen that close up before) and had a fantastic experience with customer service.

When I picked up our tickets, we were unable to get five seats together. I was pretty frustrated, but settled for a set of three and two. The cashier told me we could talk to guest services and see if there was anything that they could do. Upon walking into our section, the usher checked our tickets and immediately offered to do whatever he could. Less than ten minutes later he gave us a free seat upgrade, where all five of us were able to sit together in the shade! And if all of that wasn't enough, we witnessed a Billy Butler home run, Luke Hochevar notching 13 strikeouts, and the Royals pulling out a rare 6-3 win. I couldn't have asked for a better day!

Here are some pics of us at the backyard fire pit and the Royals game:

More on Winning and Losing

Competitiveness and competition will probably always be a part of my life in some fashion, so I'm very thankful for the insights I recently received and shared in regards to this topic. Since then I've had a few more thoughts I want to throw out there.

It has occurred to me that I could guarantee I would never lose another competition in my life. While I'm not a particularly good basketball player (haha, what an understatement) there's one way I could be certain to win every time: I'll only play against people ages ten and under. (Imagine how many blocked shots I could have!) This may sound like a silly idea, but I think it has some pretty sound implications:

• Winning against weak competition is not satisfying.
  It's just a fact. I've been on both sides of this one, where a softball game is completely one-sided and is more like practice for the dominant team. Sure it's nice to win, but it comes with the asterisk that the team you just pounded wasn't very good. Keep that in mind.
  
  
• Beating the Best is Better.
  It's obvious, then, that winning against equal or superior talent is much more satisfying, since you actually have to earn it. But there's a trade-off there: as the value of winning increases, so do the chances of losing. Some choose to avoid that chance and simply accept winning against inferior opponents. Be sure to properly evaluate which side you're choosing.
  
  
• You May Be a Big Fish in a Little Pond.
  Someone will rise to the top and dominate whatever local competition they may find. The only problem is that the competition doesn't end there. You probably don't have to travel very far before you find others that are at your level or higher. Only a handful of people (those making millions of dollars) ever actually reach the peak of their game. In other words, don't forget that you'd probably lose somewhere else.
  
  
• What Happens When You Do Reach the Top?
  A few have made it to the peak of that mountain. Countless others envy them and their achievements, wishing to be equated with greatness and all the spoils that come along with it. But in the end, does it satisfy? Is it really all it's cracked up to be? A while back I came across an interview Tom Brady did with 60 minutes that was very interesting. I was originally just going to link that interview, but found a compilation put together that tied in some other relevant elements quite well.

Hopefully thoughts like these will continue to help me keep winning and losing in its proper perspective and not allow either one to distract me from what matters most.

The Art of Losing Well

* This post is not about the Royals in any way, shape or form. But it is something that they excel at.

I have met people in my life that handled losing well, but I don't think I've ever met anyone that enjoyed it. And if they did, I'm sure they weren't all that interested in winning in the first place. Winning matters most when competition is involved, and you don't have to go very far to find that somewhere in life. The unfortunate side effect of competition is that little phenomenon called losing. Even at age 33 I find it difficult to deal with and my kids find it almost impossible.

Recently a friend at church, Mike, gave me some advice in dealing with losing. A lot of times I find myself getting very frustrated, although I do a pretty good job of keeping it inside. (Maybe Karin would say differently, I'll have to ask...) But keeping it inside isn't really the best way to deal with it, it just keeps you from socially embarrassing situations - and for that reason alone I still recommend giving it a try! But whether its explosions and resulting rage or managing to keep it bottled up, these are just the symptoms of the problem. Getting to the root means learning to look at losing differently.* So here are the two tips I was recently given that have helped me out tremendously. I'm doing my best to try and instill them in my kids as well.

* I do think another major problem with winning and losing is that our identity is usually tied to our performance and to acceptance by others. I could go into another long post on this subject as well, but as a Christian it's imperative that we find our worth in Christ alone.

First off is to recognize what is and what is not within your control. I don't know that this really registered for me, but far too often I get upset about things that I have no impact on whatsoever. One of my hobbies is a collectible miniatures game that involves rolling dice. While you can do a few things to improve your chances of getting a good roll, it's entirely possible to roll an epic fail. It definitely can be frustrating, but what can you do? If you knew it was outside of your control before you rolled the dice, you'd know there was a distinct possibility things wouldn't go your way.

This is also true in team sports. If someone drops a fly ball or the shortstop boots a grounder, there's nothing you could have done about it. It may be natural to get upset (since your chances of winning are tied to their performance) but it's really pointless. And while the anger is welling up inside, it naturally translates into negativity towards that person. Chances are high that it will only go downhill from there, especially if you open your mouth.

This certainly runs counter to Ephesians 4:29 which says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Recognizing that I have no control over their performance will help me to focus on what I can control: my attitude and my speech. Now I'm in a position to encourage them, which is far more important in the long run than winning or losing anyway.

This leads right into the second point, which is that winning comes through something else I can control: dedication and hard work. The scene is all too familiar: one player hits a high, routine fly ball to the outfield and the defender settles under the ball to chants of "Miss it! Miss it!" The way to win isn't to hope your opponent fails or messes up, although winning often happens that way. (I've certainly played games where I said, "They didn't win that game, we lost it.") But the best course of action for us to pursue in competition is to try and improve our own game rather than hope our opponent doesn't bring their best.

I see this all the time with the kids, where they're actively rooting against each other. After lunch today there was an incredibly exciting game of wii bowling where two of the kids were tied with 82 pins in the seventh frame. In the eighth, they both got spares. Then in the ninth they both got strikes! It was a blast to watch as they matched each other throw for throw, the excitement in the room growing with each round.

In the tenth frame the first player bowled a strike, followed by netting seven pins with the two extra throws. The pressure was really on player two, who wasn't able to match the strike and ended up losing 157-177. At first all was good, as we simply basked in the fun of an exciting game. But it wasn't long before sore losing took hold and complaining ensued, especially against the performance of the winner. I imagine it will be a difficult road to get them to embrace these two principles (after all, here I am struggling with it as an adult), but I'm going to keep impressing it upon them and trying to demonstrate it in my own life as well.

On the side, a third competitive tip I've picked up is from another friend, Jake. We've played racquetball together a few times and it's always intense. After one particularly challenging match he let me in on a little secret: he never says anything during a game, good or bad. This eliminates both grumbling and bragging, including comments that weren't meant as such but might come off that way. I sometimes forget this principle but need to work on it as well.

So there you go. For those of you that will find yourself participating in competition sometime soon, I hope these tips might help you out. And for any parents out there, maybe they could help your kids as well.

The Best Part of Summer

(Once I saw Marsha with the glove on her head, I knew I had to include this picture.)

If you know me at all you know I love to play softball. And hopefully you also know that I love college students. So what could be better than putting those two together? Getting halfway through the summer means that very thing will be getting started next week! While I do enjoy the game itself, the best part is seeing how it develops community and brings people closer together, ultimately serving to grow us up in Jesus.

For those who aren't on the team, we'd love for you to come cheer us on! All games will be at Donaldson Park on the Northwest field. Here is the schedule, although I'm sure we'll hit a rain out or two along the way:

Tue 7/14 - 6:00 vs Pirates & Wenches
Thu 7/16 - 8:00 vs Laura Street Baptist Church
Tue 7/21 - 8:00 vs The Sandlot
Thu 7/23 - 7:00 vs Hometown Auto Doctor
Tue 7/28 - 6:00 vs Walmart Dominators
Thu 7/30 - 8:00 vs Pirates & Wenches
Tue 8/4 - 6:00 vs Laura Street Baptist Church
Thu 8/6 - 7:00 vs The Sandlot
Tue 8/11 - 6:00 vs Hometown Auto Doctor
Thu 8/13 - 7:00 vs Walmart Dominators
Tue 8/18 - 7:00 vs Pirates & Wenches
Thu 8/20 - 6:00 vs Laura Street Baptist Church

Finding a Spark

Like nearly every other person out there, I've often had the desire to "get in shape." While we all generally understand what that means, there are a few different aspects to it. There's losing weight, building muscle and developing cardiovascular endurance. While I'd like to see all of those happen, I'm currently working on the first: losing weight.

Before I go any further, let me make a disclaimer. I find it very annoying when someone responds with, "You don't need to lose weight!" I appreciate the intentions when we say that to someone, but unless you suspect them of anorexia you should let them be the judge of that. I am quite confident that I'm not at my ideal weight, and I know that the challenge will only get harder the older I get.

As I write this, I've been actively pursuing this for almost exactly one month. In that time I've lost 10 or 11 pounds and have about that much left to go. I simply wanted to share a few of the things I've found to be helpful along the way.

First off, I got serious about utilizing Spark People. It's an online community of over five million people striving for a healthier lifestyle. There are tons of resources on there and many different ways to find help and support. For me the most useful tool has been the nutrition tracker. All I have to do is keep track of how much I eat and enter it into the website. It keeps track of how many calories I've had, including breaking it down into fat, carbs and protein. And since I told it how much I weighed when I started and what my target weight/date were, it tells me the calorie range I need to stay within.

In order to best measure the food I've eaten we picked up a digital scale. I got this one at Amazon.com for $25 (and another shout out to Amazon Prime for free shipping). It's very simple and since you can zero out the scale at any time, you can easily keep track of each thing you add to your plate.

Another thing that's been instrumental is drinking more water. Spark People (along with many many others) suggests drinking at least eight cups a day. A while ago we picked up this Brita water filter which does a fantastic job in making Maryville water drinkable. I also have a large drinking "jug" that is marked off to let you know how much water you've had.

Another useful development has been the increase in fruits and vegetables as part of our diet. It's certainly frustrating that this leads to an increased grocery bill, but the health benefits are worth it. And having our finances in order simply means we'll have to make a cut somewhere else.

It's been very gratifying to see results as I follow a tried-and-true method of weight loss: making wise choices daily and seeing the cumulative effects. I enjoy the fact that it doesn't require absolutely cutting certain things out of your diet, but rather endorses moderation. It's like having a calorie paycheck and a calorie budget. You know you have this much to spend each day, and if you make a large purchase in one area you're going to have to cut back somewhere else.

Now that I'm getting this area under control, I'm soon going to add in some work to strengthen my lower back (a constant source of frustration) and work to develop more softball related areas.

For anyone out there in a similar pursuit I want to encourage you not to give up. I weigh in every day, and some days the number on the scale goes up instead of down. However, the method is proven and if you just stick with it the results will come!

Happy Birthday, America!

I built this two story playhouse a few years ago and it originally was painted camouflage, but recently Meghan suggested we paint it red white and blue. After playing around with a few different designs this is what we all decided on. It would have been finished on the 4th of July but I couldn't find any cardboard big enough to make my star stencil.

As an aside, one thing that I've been learning recently is in the area of being a better dad. The Lord has made it clear to me that as I'm doing my every day normal activities I can simply invite the kids to join me in what I'm working on. Here they helped with painting and last week they helped me finish hang drywall on the living room ceiling.

So often I'm in such a hurry to get things done that I'd rather shoo them off so I can finish the project instead of seeing it as an opportunity to spend time with them. I know it's not rocket science, I'm just a slow learner sometimes =) To any other parents with young kids out there, I encourage you to find ways to include them in your every day life too.